Battle Lines

My ears hear my mouth saying that we are ok.  It says how lucky we were to have Daniel for 13 1/2 amazing years and that some people never get to experience in a lifetime what we had for that short, blissful period.  My head nods as my brain agrees completely.  

But my heart is screaming, "NO!  It was not enough... there should have been more time."  My eyes must agree, because they fill up at the thought. 

My heart considers my hands traitors as they to go through the day to day tasks of living- brushing my teeth and driving to work.  They are conspiring with my feet to keep going from day to day.

But my arms are not aligned with them.  They would be fighting alongside my heart if they weren't so depressed from being empty for too long.

My chest and throat are allies with my heart and tighten up in failed attempts catch my breath, that disloyally continues to move in and out.

My soul just sits by staring, like a sad little girl looking forlornly out the window waiting for her best friend to come walking back home.

I love you Daniel.  Today we would be celebrating your birthday.