Mrs. Willard

13 years ago today I became Mrs. Daniel Willard.  In my heart, I already belonged to Daniel, but this made it official.  He was so proud and happy to call me his wife and I was so blissful thinking about spending the rest of our lives together.  I hear some people who say "this would have been our anniversary" but to me, there is no "would have" about it.  Today is our anniversary.  13 years ago, I was breathless at the thought of being Mrs. Willard and today being without him feels like I am smothering.

This is the first anniversary that we have been apart.  I don't get to celebrate today with Daniel, but I am so lucky that he left me with so many amazing memories to keep with me.  When I look forward and think of his absence, that is when the tears come.  But whenever I look back and think of my time with him, it is nothing but laughter.  Daniel made me feel special every day and I did my best to make sure he knew every day how much he was loved.  He was an incredible man who was loyal, kind-hearted, wicked smart, opinionated, funny, stubborn, mischievous, warm, compassionate, and loving.  I was amazingly fortunate to have been chosen by this man to share a life with him. 

Well meaning people tell me that I am young and will find someone else or that Daniel wouldn't want me to be alone for the rest of my life.  What they don't understand is that, in my heart I am still a Mrs.  I am not a single person, looking for a match.  I am someone who was blessed to find the one for me and have already given my heart away.  I am one half of a perfectly matched pair.  I have a husband.  He is just away at the moment, and when I am in his arms again, I will be back home.

I love you Daniel.  Happy Anniversary.