Thursday, September 17, 2015
Put on a happy face
So, we start to fake it. Here, let me translate for you.
I'm doing good! Thanks for asking.
I know that it's been almost a year, but I still cried the entire drive in to work today.
I'm really settling in to the new routine/new house.
The place is so empty and I am so lonely.
I am in a much healthier place now and getting out more.
I made it out of my pajamas at least once this weekend.
I'm starting to pick up some new hobbies.
I don't do any of the things I used to enjoy because it breaks my heart to do them without him/her.
In fact, I'm thinking about making a change (going back to school, becoming a missionary, getting a dog, writing a book, climbing a mountain, etc.)
I feel unanchored and aimless. Life has lost all meaning for me.
Really, I am doing fine.
I am never, ever, ever, ever going to be fine about this. But I acknowledge that it sucks to bring others down with me, so I am just going to smile and fake it.
I love you Daniel.
I miss you with every fiber of my being.